One girl was seated on the couch. With the laptop perched on the armrest of the couch, she sifted through her mails. Another sat on the floor examining an image of Cinderella on a black t-shirt. Her attention barely shifted from the masterpiece she created. The third girl sat on another couch. With her tab in her hand she read through some article on an online newspaper. The clock struck eleven and though they technically did not have wall clock at home, their circadian rhythms were in harmony and their psychological clock rang mini alarms indicating that it was tea time.
They looked at each other for a full thirty seconds before they asked each other who would prepare tea. Finally one of them got up and proceeded to the stove. She collected the ingredients and placed them on the table to avoid repeated visits to the kitchen storage that was a good five yards away. A click was a heard and the trio turned their attention to the door as the fourth member of the tea party entered.
Glasses were placed on the table and a spoon of sugar was placed in two of the glasses. The tea was filtered and each member was handed a glass. All of them sat down on the four couches in the room. As they curled into their comfort zones each of them complimented the person who prepared tea that day. Over a glass of tea they would discuss the happenings of the day. They would engage in harmless banter and tease each other. As the tea vanished, they would wind their tea party. Once the glasses were empty each would wash their glass and stow it on the counter top rack before they hit the sack.
This was an everyday ritual that they arduously followed. Even if one was busy, the other three would continue to drink tea as the missing member would catch up on the details the next day. The practice of tea-drinking may seem banal to others but to them it was one time of the day they really looked forward to. All of them were students who were in different stages of their doctoral programme. Each had batlles to face everyday of their lives but when it was tea time they drowned their worries and fears in the mugs of tea and cleansed their minds to prepare themselves for the day that was to come.
Being a member of this tea party, I always wondered how all the others had time for everything despite their tight schedules. One day I remembered a story that one of my school teachers once told us.
"A professor stood before his philosophy class with some items in front of him.
When class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He asked the students if the jar was full, they all agreed it was. So, the professor picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled around the golf balls and filled into the spaces between the golf balls. He again asked, “is the jar full?”; and again the students agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous “Yes!”. The professor then produced two cups of tea from the table and poured the entire contents into the jar; effectively filling the empty spaces between the sand. The students laughed. As the laughter subsided, the professor said, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things, family, children, health, friends, and your favorite passions. The pebbles are the other things that matter, like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else—the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “you will spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18 holes.There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set priorities. The rest is just sand.” One of the students asked, “What does the coffee represent?” The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a cup of tea with a friend.”
This Just goes to show how we can make time for everything in our lives. All we need to do is to sort out our priorities. The laundry can be put away for another day or we can squeeze a five minute slot to just load the washer and collect the clothes later. After all chores are just grains of sand. There is no point in cribbing that the jar is full of sand when the golf balls are effectively outside. When your life seems to be getting too heavy with trivial sand like issues just throw the sand out and fill it with the more important issues. The sand will fall into its space between the golf balls. And incase your life seems completely overwhelming, it does not matter whether your life is filled with sand or pebbles or golfballs. Just head for a cup of tea with your friends. After all there is always space for a cup of tea.
You can see the video for the Mayo Jar story on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-iyK1zGC84
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