Each one to their own

My phone buzzed continually as I tried to sleep, a debated Whatsapp exchange was going on in a group. I muted the phone and fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up to over a hundred messages. Most of the people referred to a particular Tamil promoting politician as hypocritic as his daughter ran a school where Hindi was taught. I began to wonder whether it was such a big deal at all, as the politician and his daughter are two different individuals, with different ideologies and mindsets. Having a child, whose ideology does not necessarily subscribe to yours, doesn't make one hypocritic. Going back on one's one ideology is what makes one hypocritic.

I wear dresses to work, and my mother wears salwar kameez. My grandmother on the other hand believes that saree is the most appropriate attire for a woman and only wears sarees. While my grandmother believes that sarees are comfortable, my mother and I do not feel particularly comfortable in sarees and do not wear them on a daily basis. 

Does that make my grandmother hypocritic? Does it make me or my mother hypocritic ?

It absolutely does not, because my grandmother believes in her principles and sticks to it. She does not enforce them on her children or grandchildren. It doesn't make me or my mother hypocritic, because we follow what we believe in.

If you are still unconvinced, let me give you an example. Hiranyakashipu was a Rakshasa who tormented people, who had a humble son named Prahlad. Lord Vishnu took the form of Narasimha to kill Hiranyakashipu and save Prahlad. We consider Prahlad a hero, despite being the son of a Rakshasa. If we can accept this, why can't we accept the fact that a politician and his daughter can have entirely different mindsets. 

Why can't we agree that all of us are different from our parents and each individual has his or her own beliefs and we need not subscribe to the exact same values and beliefs as our parents?

Each individual is entitled to have her or his own beliefs, motivations and ideologies. While some of these are imbibed from the parents, other external factors such as school, friends and media have a role to play in shaping a persons mindset. This in turn influences the person and makes each individual a unique entity.

The next time you criticise someone for being hypocritic because his child or parent does not subscribe to the same ideology, just remember that you and your parents, or you and your children do not necessarily subscribe to the same beliefs. If this does not make you hypocritic, it surely does not make them hypocritic either.

The cold bitter-sweet truth

As I closed the tank, I felt an icy chill passing through my hand and the rest remains a haze. I got into panic mode, washed my hands several times and then finished my work. Half and hour later, my fingers felt numb and I couldn't move my hand. I rushed to the hospital and on the way bumped into an acquaintance. That day, I did not realise, that she would one day become a very good friend. She checked on me every few days, and bolstered me in the recovery process. It taught me that acquaintances needn't always be distant, some can be friends too.

While checking into the hospital, the receptionist asked me to sign a set of forms. My hands were numb and could barely hold a pen, I called a friend, who worked less than fifty metres away to help me sign the forms. He merely said "It will be okay" and cut the call. This was the end of the supposed friendship I shared with him. I held the pen and scribbled my name with my non-dominant hand is an unintelligible fashion. That moment, taught me to cut away people who use you and do not step up when you need them, even if it is not particularly difficult for them.
My supervisor, whom I feared (co-supervisor actually), turned out to be a great ally who ensured that I received the best medical treatment possible in Singapore. My lab safety lead and my counterpart in lab (two different people), ensured that I was well fed and took my medicines on time. They made me realise that the best in people is hidden and comes out only when needed.

Three of my friends in Singapore became my sources of support and champions. One of my friends would patiently unknot my hair and plait it everyday, another would cook and feed me, while the third would continually tell me that everything would be alright soon. 

My world changed significantly, leaving me dependant on people for a weeks and I am actually thankful for the accident as I realised that all friends, aren't 'Friends' and surrounding yourself with the goodness brings prosperity and incidents like these actually help you remove the parasitic weeds and retain the good people in your life. Those who realise you are wounded and cannot help them will leave, while those who truly care, will stay back.


My hand was exposed to cold liquid nitrogen, and I was exposed to the cold bitter-sweet truth of reality.