Three in One Sachet

Teacher's day is just around and corner and so is Raksha Bandhan. Hence it would be apt to pay tribute to my mentors who have taught me as much as my teachers (if not more), been as supportive as a brother should be and lastly been the friend who will stand by through thick and thin. 

A 3 in 1 sachet of coffee has ground coffee beans, creamer and sugar. The beans give the coffee its aroma and the creamer gives it milkiness. The sugar makes the coffee taste better. Most people are like single ingredients, they offer a single flavour to life. A few add more than one flavour to life by taking multiple roles in your life. My post is dedicated to these 3 in 1 people.

During the first week of college, I met a senior. He was in his final year of Undergrad. I never explicitly told him about my cultural shock at college. I had studied in a girls school and was facing a class with 97% boys for the first time. I was not used to the mug and write technique and could not cope with college well. I do not know how he understood what was running in my head. He once came up to me and asked me if I was alright. I admitted my fears to him and he took over the reins partially from me. He had been through it all and understood my situation better than my kith and kin. He guided me through my college and assured me that it was just a matter of time before I would finish my undergrad. He was right. With his motivation, I managed to excel in college. Though it has been over two since I left college, he continues to keep in touch and mentors me when it is necessary. He was my guardian angel through undergrad.

Once my first mentor graduated from University, the next informal mentor was another senior in college. He was more of a brother than a mentor. If I ever ran into trouble he would be there and give me quick solutions to exit from the situation. He would lend me his books and would cheer me up with his antics. I did not spend much time with him, but every time we met , I had a great time. He does not keep in touch and seldoms talks to me. However I am sure that every time I need him, all I need to do is call and he will be there to bolster me and make me smile.

Undergrad was challenging, but Master's was better. The only thing that dampened my spirits during my Master's was the PhD Admit after my Masters. I had applied to half a dozen universities and all admission committees seemed to dislike my application. My confidence went for a toss. A PhD student in the university coached me through the entire situation. Whenever  I was low, he would offer me a bowl of Kothu Parota (my favourite dish) and that would momentarily lift my sadness away. He would use to opportunity to coach me and get me back on track. His encouragement played a significant role in me getting my confidence boosted and finally resulted in a PhD Admit.

The last person, definitely the most important person is my brother. A sister is born the day her sibling is born and my life till today would not be as meaningful as it has been if not for my brother. Aditya (or Adit as we call him) has taught me a lot and we have learnt a lot from each other. He is my pillar of strength. He unconditionally supports every decision I make and loves me despite my faults. He taught me that we can always fight and patch up with the people we love most.  By teaching him, I learnt things better and he is and will always be my best friend and one of the most important people in my life. Thambi Thanga Kambi ( a younger brother like a piece of gold) does not hold true for him for his influence in my life is far more precious than anything I can ever imagine.

We associate teaching with classrooms and knowledge, but fail to acknowledge those who have impacted our life and taught us life lessons. A big thank you to my guru-bhrathra-mitr 3 in one packages for everything you have done for me.

Happy Teacher's day and Raksha Bandhan in Advance.

Enna tension?

I came across this advertisement for a popular jeweller. The ad practically labelled a 'single' daughter of 'marriageable age' as a tension. Though I did not like the ad, I had to admit that it resonated with the popular mindset that a daughter is a liability or tension that one had to get rid of.

One observation that I have made among my friends is that, several parents rush to get their daughter married citing reasons like retirement, poor health etc. However in the case of Sons' the same does not apply. The sons are given an extra four or five years and the parents do not obsess about their marriage. 

In many cases parents are supportive of their daughters, but even those girls are not spared. In every family function I attend, Several Aunties and Uncle's ask when I plan to marry. Some of these are people I have never met. While asking about one's marriage itself is not okay, some go an extra step by suggesting potential matches. When I say that I am working on my PhD, they say that a girl has to 'settle down'.

The ad I mentioned earlier in the post was floated in order to encourage people to save money to buy gold. Though saving is a good concept, saving in order to blow it away on a daughter's wedding is definitely not a great thing. In order to have a successful marriage, two people need to work their lives out and gold or lavish weddings have no role in ensuring it. Further the groom is also an equal partner in the institution of marriage but the society and media has made it seem like only the girls family is responsible.

Sometimes when people tell me to settle down, I feel like asking what their role in my marital life is going to be. They will talk and push but it is me who has to live it. Since I am the one living it, I believe that I should be completely responsible for the choice I make and not depend on someone else and their choice as what is perceived to be best.

It is obvious that times are changing, but the pace at which we grow is definitely slower than what it should be. If each and everyone of us refuses to change our mindset, hoping others change theirs and as a result the society will change, you are completely mistaken. Several traditions and superstitions have continued only because people have believed them blindly and have continued to impart them to their people. If people continue to believe that girls are a tension that needs to be married off because of society, remember that you are a part of the society and you are contributing to a trend that results in a long vicious cycle.

What's Cooking tonight ??

I initially started this blog to chronicle my experiences in the kitchen. With time my interest in the kitchen wore away primarily due to the absence of a stove. Over time a room-mate began to hog the microwave and induction cook-top. Everytime I wanted to cook I would have to wait, and the waiting time was so long that I would give up and eat outside instead.

After moving into another apartment, I got a renewed interest in the kitchen. We had four burners and three housemates and this was ample for us. It meant that one could simultaneously make a side dish on one burner while the rice was being done on another burner. Alternatively I could take breaks between stirring the sabzi and flipping over the chapati. The food got done in less than half the time it used to take once upon a time.

My roomie and I decided that everyday we would eat atleast one home-made meal and we have been following this for a month now. The experience has been beneficial in several ways. Firstly, we eat more regularly as we do not need to head to a restaurant to eat. Secondly the food is healthier as we bulk it up with more vegetables and less oil. Learning to cook and spending some time in the kitchen chatting with each other is a bonus plus point. Lastly we also have food waiting for us if one of us gets home late as the other would have prepared food earlier.

The only disadvantage of self cooking is the taste for my roomie and I are very nascent to this art. This problem will definitely vanish with time as we have observed our food improve gradually over the last month.