A Tapestry of Tradition: Growing Up with Four Grandparents

Growing up, my brother and I had the privilege of being surrounded by all four grandparents. My parents, brother, and I lived with our paternal grandparents, while the maternal folks resided just a short drive away. We visted and spent a lot of time at our maternal grandparents place, the house our mother grew up in.

Despite belonging to the same community and celebrating the same festivals, our households (Yes! We were part of both) boasted distinct traditions.

Take Pongal, for instance. At our paternal home, it was all about the sweet chakarai pongal paired with vadai, while our maternal folks opted for a subtler venpogal with an onion/garlic-free gotsu or sambar. As kids, we simply followed our mother's lead, reveling in the culinary diversity—a bowl of chakarai pongal here, a piece of vadai there, fully aware that the next course awaited at our maternal grandparents'.

This dichotomy wasn't exclusive to Pongal; it defined our Saturdays too. In the morning, our paternal grandparents hosted a 'Sani Kizamai Pooja' with neivedyam featuring vadai and a sweet, doubling as breakfast. Meanwhile, our maternal grandparents hosted the same pooja in the evening, treating us to sundal as prasadam—a delightful pre-dinner snack.

What I failed to recognize as a child was the incredible convenience and richness this duality brought to my life. Conflicts (two poojas or functions happening at the same time) were rare, and we grew up intimately acquainted with both families, immersed in their cultures, and, most importantly, spoiled with good food.

My brother's exclamation, 'It has been a good food day,' became a regular refrain for both him and I, after indulging in the culinary delights of both houses.

As for understanding Tamil months and their sequence, well, that was a mystery until I was around 8. 

What I did know was that there was a month of evening lamps (Karthikai), followed by Margazhi, during which my paternal grandmother's early morning temple visits turned our into a wake-up alarm for the entire locality owing the the wails of our pet dogs who didn't want to be left behind at home and wanted to accompany her in her walk to the temple. Seeking refuge at my maternal grandparents' meant avoiding the canine commotion and waking up to the exquisite kolams drawn by my grandmother or the lovely househelp, Saroja.

Margazhi, with its early morning bhajans and vibrant kolams, eventually led to the pinnacle of our festivities—Pongal, marking the end of a month-long celebration.

Reflecting on those years, I realize how seamlessly the traditions of our grandparents intertwined, creating a childhood steeped in love, diversity, and, of course, delicious food. It was a privilege—one that has left an indelible mark on the fabric of my past.

The Wizard of Happiness

Guess what made my day brighter today? Brace yourself for a heartwarming tale of unexpected kindness and mangoes! So, picture this: I've been battling a whole army of troubles, feeling grumpy and down in the dumps. Wait, I am not going to complain, because a sprinkle of magic came my way!

Enter my incredible household help, the superhero who cooks and cleans. She arrived today gleefully swinging a basket (that had a lid to stop that magoes from falling out, duh!) that contained not just one, not two, but three kili mooku mangoes! I was ready to pay her for this fruity delight, eagerly reaching out for those juicy treasures. Little did I know, a surprise was cooking up in the kitchen.

After wrapping up all her chores, I heard a delightful commotion emanating from the little kitchen. Curiosity got the best of me, and I rushed to the scene of the culinary crime. Lo and behold, my amazing helper was concocting a batch of mango pickle just for me! How did she know? Well, she remembered that a friend had once showered me with this delectable treat, and she thought it would lift my spirits.

Grinning from ear to ear, I instinctively reached for my phone to compensate her for the mangoes by making a deposit to her account. But wait, she had other plans! She put her hand up, stopping me, halting my generosity in its tracks, and shared the most heartfelt story. Turns out, her dear departed dad had planted that mango tree because he believed it would bring joy. And boy, was he right! The entire family continues to revel in the mangoes' glory. So, she insisted, "No need to pay me anything. Just savor those mangoes and bask in happiness."

Talk about being deeply moved! This remarkable lady has never taken a day off without letting me know in advance. She's always given notice, and if she has to travel, she even prepares food in advance, ensuring I won't starve. Sometimes, she goes above and beyond, leaving behind a delicious gravy so I can add veggies to it when she's away. Cherry on the cake: When I had a nasty cold, she went the extra mile and bought Sorakkai to whip up a comforting soup, all while juggling her regular duties. No complaints whatsoever!

Let me tell you, this extraordinary woman has been a saving grace for many families over the past ten years. The only reason she's had to bid farewell to a few households is due to their unfortunate relocations. But her entrepreneurial spirit never wavers, and she effortlessly balances caring for her six daughters and mother without uttering a single complaint. She even works in a mid-day meal kitchen and collects the excess food from the school canteen to serve other malnourished kids. She does this without having any formal education whatsoever! Can you believe that? Oh, and did I mention that she once borrowed 3k from me for her daughter's hospitalization? Well, bless her sweet soul, she insisted on deducting it from her future paycheck. Of course, I couldn't bear to take a single penny from this darling woman who deserves nothing but the best!

Today, my friend, I found happiness in the simplest of gestures, wrapped in the sweetness of mangoes and delivered by a superhero in an apron. Life's challenges may have been tough lately, but moments like these remind me that kindness exists in the world, waiting to brighten our days and put a smile on our faces.

Sometimes god does send superheroes to help us. This time it was a ladle-wielding, bundle of joy who made my day, and even my week perhaps. 

She is perhaps a magician whose wand is a ladle. Maybe, she's a happiness-bringing wizard who doesn't use a broom to fly, but instead uses it to sweep away sadness, one swish at a time.