Foot Prints on the Sands of time

The alarm would scream 'Wake Up Wake up' and I would open my eyes to face a pastel pink wall. The day would progress slowly and at the end of the day I would go to sleep facing the same plain wall. To spruce up the wall and add some color to it, my buddy and I went to an art store, picked up a roll of satin ribbon, a few miniature clothes hanger clips and hooks.

Being a person who loves company, I wanted to do something that would remind me of all the wonderful people I have in my life, who are geographically distant, but close at heart. We decided that it would be best to put up photos of family, and friends whom we do not meet on an everyday basis. As we selected the photos we recalled the memory behind the photo. The time I first met a friend on a bus ; The reason why someone is missing from the group etc were discussed and what started as an hour long project to spruce up a wall, ended up being an evening long project full of memories.

We are an average of the people around us, those who make our lives. They may not be near and it might be almost impossible to talk to them on a daily or even monthly basis. Yet when we look at our lives, we will see that they have left their impressions on the sands that we have trudged. There are some whose foot steps may coincide with ours again, some we may never see again, some are yet to tread these sands with us.

When we feel forlorn we can see and derive inspiration from the footprints of those who tread with us. When we look ahead and see a vast expanse of sand and no foot prints on it, we should remind ourselves to hold strong and walk the path and realize that there are others traversing the sands whose paths will coincide with us.

Lives of great men all remind us 

        We can make our lives sublime, 

    And, departing, leave behind us 

        Footprints on the sands of time ;

    Footprints, that perhaps another, 

        Sailing o'er life's solemn main, 

    A forlorn and shipwrecked brother, 

        Seeing, shall take heart again.

    Let us, then, be up and doing, 

        With a heart for any fate ; 

    Still achieving, still pursuing, 

        Learn to labor and to wait.

 - Henry Longfellow

Good Things Thing That Happen When your Roomie is a Life Science Major

I have had the honour of being the room mate of not one but two Biotechnologists at different points of time, Both amazing people. After having lived with them, I know for certain that they make good ( best actually) roomies. Here are some of the up's of having a Bio-girl as your roomie.

1. Cockroaches and Lizards don't freak them out. They have seen stuff that is grosser. If they see a dead insect they will merely pick it up and throw it out. If it is alive, it will receive a blow from the broom before it is thrown out.

2. They help you improve your vocabulary. While a layman will call a swollen tongue "A Swollen Tongue", they will call it Glossitis. Terms like tumefaction will no longer sound like latin. A simple sentence like "An insect bit my cheek" will sound more sophisticated and romantic when euphemized.

3. They know what is wrong and will tell you when you need to overcome a habit. Have a stomach ache and your roomie will explain the complex mechanism behind why the stale potato chips you had two days ago caused the ache.

4. Compared to an average human, Biologists are more patient and forgiving. Drop their plate and break it or use their expensive shampoo, they will not flinch. They are empathetic and have seen it all. They have seen the fruit of hard work go ripe and rotten. They have repeated experiments hundreds of times. Simple mistakes and follies no longer matter to them.

5. Disciple is synonymous with them. They are used to working long hours in the laboratory. The awareness that they need to work everyday since that particular day might be their EUREKA day is ingrained in them.

6. They have a childlike curiosity and passion that never dies. Be it baking or cooking or reading a book they put their 100% into it.

7. Observance Skills and Biology go hand in hand. Observing minute details and spotting false positives is easy for them. If you try to hide your happiness by putting up a fake smile they will see you through it and ask you what is wrong.

8. You might see them only for a few hours each week, but the time you spend with them will be good. They will offer you insights into several things that you overlook. Their thinking box has no boundaries. 

9. They are ever willing to teach and learn. The process of learning and giving is familiar to them. They know that exchanging a good thought with someone gives each person an extra good thought. They share lab tips and tricks with their colleagues and life tips with their roomies.

10. At the outset they look like geeks, but beneath the log books and experimental data, is a person who is as human as we non-biology folks are. You can not help thinking of them as your family away from home.

A Clean Slate

Over two years ago, I landed in a city where I knew just one person - My Mother's Cousin (my aunt). I started my sojourn in this Little Red Dot called 'Singapore' with a practically clean slate. The first people I met were my new room-mates. I had seen their pictures but had never met them. Then came my classmates. Over time I also became well acquainted with my aunt's family - Their two adorable little sons and my uncle.

Things went smoothly and I settled in well. Just as I became very comfortable, I got an admit into another university in the same city and had to move to another locality. I was initially apprehensive, but knew that my folks in Singapore were there for me even if I moved to another locality.

Fortunately, I had lovely room-mates and good friends in the new University and locality. A few friends introduced me to their friends and the chain of friends grew. Just as I began to get well set into the routine of having many friends around, my folks in Singapore began to leave one by one.

My Former roomie and mentor was the first to leave. She returned to my hometown after her course. My Aunt and her family left Singapore too. Just as I got acclimatized to them leaving Singapore, two of my friends informed me that they were leaving Singapore in search of greener pastures.

I was back to a partially clean slate.

When I was in primary school, the teacher would write notes on the blackboard as we copied it into our notebook. We needed to write fast as the teacher would begin to erase the blackboard as soon as she finished writing on it. In case we could not catch up, we would leave a blank space as trying to catch up would result in us missing the next set of notes being written on the board.

Regretting the lost moments that I could have cherished with the people who left Singapore will only result in me losing out on time that I can spend with others and result in a chain of regrets. Keep taking notes and keep pace with life. If you can not keep pace, just try hard to. When our creator erases the blackboard, just leave an empty space and continue with the new set of notes. 

We never know what the next person we meet may teach us. Keep pace with life. People will come and ago. Situations will change. 

I chatter over stony ways,
In little sharps and trebles,

I bubble into eddying bays,

I babble on the pebbles.

With many a curve my banks I fret

By many a field and fallow,

And many a fairy foreland set

With willow-weed and mallow.

I chatter, chatter, as I flow

To join the brimming river,

For men may come and men may go,

But I go on for ever.

-Alfred Lord Tennyson

Start with a Sneeze

The term 'Gentleman' is often used to describe any many who exhibits a certain level of culture and courteousness, yet people refer to any male person as gentleman without really knowing the person. I have had the opportunity to meet and talk to one such 'Gentleman' who really made me understand what the term really meant.

 

On the first day of my Undergraduate Course, seated in the corner of the first row was a person who was impeccably dressed in a formal shirt and trousers. While others were immersed in their own thoughts, the Gentleman came up to each person and introduced himself. When he came up to me, I pronounced his name in an improper manner, he took no offense, laughed and then accentuated on the 'H' at the end of his name. When I looked puzzed, he replied that the H should sound like a sneeze. With that Statement began Six years of Friendship and I am yet to meet a person as gentle and chivalrous as him.

 

One day while travelling on a bus, a passenger got up and the seat was empty. I motioned him to sit down. He politely asked the other standing passengers if they wanted a seat and then sat down. When I told him that it was unusual for a person to not occupy a vacant seat immediately. He smiled and replied that he did not necessarily need a seat and that there were other passengers who needed a seat more than he did.

 

While he was the epitome of courteousness, Chivalrousness was another gem in his crown. He respected and treated his male and female classmates with equal importance. This might seem normal to most people, yet it was very different as I was used to chauvinists and this real gentleman treated everyone with importance. He would compliment anyone whenever they needed it. He made me realize that compliments cost nothing for the giver and are invaluable to the receiver.

 

He was an excellent singer and  student par excellence (The only 10 pointer), yet he always remained humble and never boasted or made anyone ever feel inferior. He made each one of us realize that we were good at something.

 

As this Unsung Hero completes another rotation around the sun (His Birthday). I wish him all the best for a bright future.

'A' positive life

I entered the new apartment, my escort introduced me to my new house-mate. I smiled and exchanged pleasantries, and the locket on her neck caught my attention. The locket was a simple one with the letter 'A' engraved on it.

The alphabet 'A' marks the beginning of the English alphabet. Several people give their children names beginning with 'A' as they believe that being ahead in the alphabetical order will give their children an edge over others. Statistically 10% of names are believed to have to begin with the letter A,

Though only a tenth of the population have names beginning with this letter, three-fourth of my friends have names beginning with A. This is because of circumstances and chance.

My brother and I shared initials. Our parents named us with Rhyming names that began with the letter 'A'. We shared a calculator that was marked with our initials. This was planned, but having friends with the same initials is something I never expected.

In the college I pursued my Undergraduate Education in they segregated the freshmen based on the starting letter of their name. As a result my class or 'A' Section was filled with 85 people all having names beginning with the same alphabet. Everytime the roll call was made, it would be utterly chaotic as a number of people would answer to common names like Aditya, Aishwarya, Aarthi etc.

Sometimes two people with the same first name and initial would be present in the class and that would add to more chaos. Instances of mixing of grades were not uncommon. 

Sophomore year was slightly better as we were segregated into our respective departments. I was in the Mechanical Engineering Course and did not have the name problem as I was one among the two girls in the course. The name 'Arun' was very common and 1/8th of my batch had the name. Infact the name Arun Kumar was so common that I had a senior, a classmate and junior by the same name. It so happened that the classmate 'Arun Kumar' and the junior were both friends of mine. This led to my family christening them as 'Thambi' (younger brother) Arun Kumar (For the junior) and Friend Arun Kumar.

My senior and good friend in college (Yet another Arun) had the same initials as mine and many friends also had the same set of initials. It became increasingly difficult to sign with initials as no one could fathom whose initials they were.

The 'A' spree did not end with Undergrad. As I mentioned earlier in the post, my roomie in Singapore also has a name that begins with 'A'. So does one among my two Besties. 

When I look at my medical report or identitiy card, I see the blood group and realize that 'A+' is more symbolic than it seems for some of the most important people in my life have names beginning with 'A'.

Three in One Sachet

Teacher's day is just around and corner and so is Raksha Bandhan. Hence it would be apt to pay tribute to my mentors who have taught me as much as my teachers (if not more), been as supportive as a brother should be and lastly been the friend who will stand by through thick and thin. 

A 3 in 1 sachet of coffee has ground coffee beans, creamer and sugar. The beans give the coffee its aroma and the creamer gives it milkiness. The sugar makes the coffee taste better. Most people are like single ingredients, they offer a single flavour to life. A few add more than one flavour to life by taking multiple roles in your life. My post is dedicated to these 3 in 1 people.

During the first week of college, I met a senior. He was in his final year of Undergrad. I never explicitly told him about my cultural shock at college. I had studied in a girls school and was facing a class with 97% boys for the first time. I was not used to the mug and write technique and could not cope with college well. I do not know how he understood what was running in my head. He once came up to me and asked me if I was alright. I admitted my fears to him and he took over the reins partially from me. He had been through it all and understood my situation better than my kith and kin. He guided me through my college and assured me that it was just a matter of time before I would finish my undergrad. He was right. With his motivation, I managed to excel in college. Though it has been over two since I left college, he continues to keep in touch and mentors me when it is necessary. He was my guardian angel through undergrad.

Once my first mentor graduated from University, the next informal mentor was another senior in college. He was more of a brother than a mentor. If I ever ran into trouble he would be there and give me quick solutions to exit from the situation. He would lend me his books and would cheer me up with his antics. I did not spend much time with him, but every time we met , I had a great time. He does not keep in touch and seldoms talks to me. However I am sure that every time I need him, all I need to do is call and he will be there to bolster me and make me smile.

Undergrad was challenging, but Master's was better. The only thing that dampened my spirits during my Master's was the PhD Admit after my Masters. I had applied to half a dozen universities and all admission committees seemed to dislike my application. My confidence went for a toss. A PhD student in the university coached me through the entire situation. Whenever  I was low, he would offer me a bowl of Kothu Parota (my favourite dish) and that would momentarily lift my sadness away. He would use to opportunity to coach me and get me back on track. His encouragement played a significant role in me getting my confidence boosted and finally resulted in a PhD Admit.

The last person, definitely the most important person is my brother. A sister is born the day her sibling is born and my life till today would not be as meaningful as it has been if not for my brother. Aditya (or Adit as we call him) has taught me a lot and we have learnt a lot from each other. He is my pillar of strength. He unconditionally supports every decision I make and loves me despite my faults. He taught me that we can always fight and patch up with the people we love most.  By teaching him, I learnt things better and he is and will always be my best friend and one of the most important people in my life. Thambi Thanga Kambi ( a younger brother like a piece of gold) does not hold true for him for his influence in my life is far more precious than anything I can ever imagine.

We associate teaching with classrooms and knowledge, but fail to acknowledge those who have impacted our life and taught us life lessons. A big thank you to my guru-bhrathra-mitr 3 in one packages for everything you have done for me.

Happy Teacher's day and Raksha Bandhan in Advance.

Enna tension?

I came across this advertisement for a popular jeweller. The ad practically labelled a 'single' daughter of 'marriageable age' as a tension. Though I did not like the ad, I had to admit that it resonated with the popular mindset that a daughter is a liability or tension that one had to get rid of.

One observation that I have made among my friends is that, several parents rush to get their daughter married citing reasons like retirement, poor health etc. However in the case of Sons' the same does not apply. The sons are given an extra four or five years and the parents do not obsess about their marriage. 

In many cases parents are supportive of their daughters, but even those girls are not spared. In every family function I attend, Several Aunties and Uncle's ask when I plan to marry. Some of these are people I have never met. While asking about one's marriage itself is not okay, some go an extra step by suggesting potential matches. When I say that I am working on my PhD, they say that a girl has to 'settle down'.

The ad I mentioned earlier in the post was floated in order to encourage people to save money to buy gold. Though saving is a good concept, saving in order to blow it away on a daughter's wedding is definitely not a great thing. In order to have a successful marriage, two people need to work their lives out and gold or lavish weddings have no role in ensuring it. Further the groom is also an equal partner in the institution of marriage but the society and media has made it seem like only the girls family is responsible.

Sometimes when people tell me to settle down, I feel like asking what their role in my marital life is going to be. They will talk and push but it is me who has to live it. Since I am the one living it, I believe that I should be completely responsible for the choice I make and not depend on someone else and their choice as what is perceived to be best.

It is obvious that times are changing, but the pace at which we grow is definitely slower than what it should be. If each and everyone of us refuses to change our mindset, hoping others change theirs and as a result the society will change, you are completely mistaken. Several traditions and superstitions have continued only because people have believed them blindly and have continued to impart them to their people. If people continue to believe that girls are a tension that needs to be married off because of society, remember that you are a part of the society and you are contributing to a trend that results in a long vicious cycle.