Enna tension?

I came across this advertisement for a popular jeweller. The ad practically labelled a 'single' daughter of 'marriageable age' as a tension. Though I did not like the ad, I had to admit that it resonated with the popular mindset that a daughter is a liability or tension that one had to get rid of.

One observation that I have made among my friends is that, several parents rush to get their daughter married citing reasons like retirement, poor health etc. However in the case of Sons' the same does not apply. The sons are given an extra four or five years and the parents do not obsess about their marriage. 

In many cases parents are supportive of their daughters, but even those girls are not spared. In every family function I attend, Several Aunties and Uncle's ask when I plan to marry. Some of these are people I have never met. While asking about one's marriage itself is not okay, some go an extra step by suggesting potential matches. When I say that I am working on my PhD, they say that a girl has to 'settle down'.

The ad I mentioned earlier in the post was floated in order to encourage people to save money to buy gold. Though saving is a good concept, saving in order to blow it away on a daughter's wedding is definitely not a great thing. In order to have a successful marriage, two people need to work their lives out and gold or lavish weddings have no role in ensuring it. Further the groom is also an equal partner in the institution of marriage but the society and media has made it seem like only the girls family is responsible.

Sometimes when people tell me to settle down, I feel like asking what their role in my marital life is going to be. They will talk and push but it is me who has to live it. Since I am the one living it, I believe that I should be completely responsible for the choice I make and not depend on someone else and their choice as what is perceived to be best.

It is obvious that times are changing, but the pace at which we grow is definitely slower than what it should be. If each and everyone of us refuses to change our mindset, hoping others change theirs and as a result the society will change, you are completely mistaken. Several traditions and superstitions have continued only because people have believed them blindly and have continued to impart them to their people. If people continue to believe that girls are a tension that needs to be married off because of society, remember that you are a part of the society and you are contributing to a trend that results in a long vicious cycle.